two

“you may not see it today or tomorrow, but you will look back in a few years and be absolutely perplexed and awed by how every little thing added up and brought you somewhere wonderful – or where you always wanted to be. you will be grateful that things didn’t work out the way you once wanted them to”

~ reassurance

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There is a lot to be said for going with your gut and not caring what people think…. but *cough* deep down we all love reassurance.

Admit it. It’s good.

Hence the love I have for this article… nothing beats a bit of good old fashioned reassurance. Especially when you’re about to move across the world!

Ok so I might not quite agree with the move 5 times thing, or the move to chase love thing – given i’m doing pretty much the opposite – but on the whole, the article sums up the motive behind my move, the method behind my madness.

While we enjoy comfort, we crave experience. The point of living is not to resign yourself to one part of life, but to continually redefine yourself. It’s to baptize yourself, over and over again, in new waters and new experiences.

Reassurance is the gold, the glitter and the sparkle – all in one! Thanks elite daily x

Sarah x

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to dream

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I’m following my dream.
I’ve made my decision, I’ve booked my ticket and I’m moving to London. The dream is getting closer and more real by the day. Although the excitement is beginning to become uncontrollable at times, a small amount of that pesky thing called fear occasionally creeps in.

Dreams are something we all have every night – whether we remember them or not. They’re also something we all have throughout our lifetimes – whether we follow them or not.

Night-time dreams are interesting, more often than not they leave you confused – but this state of confusion can be fascinating really, it allows us to delve in to our subconscious and attempt to make sense of it.

Dreams are emotive; from happiness to sadness, hope to dejection – a dream will often awaken feelings within us when day breaks (or our alarm goes off) and we are pulled from the depths of our dream.

So why is it that we give things we want to do, paths we want to take, the same label? I see a dream as a warped sense of reality, after all, they’re not real and they always draw on so many feelings – feelings of which I usually don’t want to have to deal with! They can lead us to the front of the line for an early morning rollercoaster of emotion so… why am I using the same noun to label my next chapter?

I see the parallel in the reality I am currently facing; control – or lack there of. I can’t control how my move will go, I have no idea what is in store for me and I can’t predict or really plan what lies ahead. Same goes when your head hits the pillow each night. Sure you can try your hardest to control how your dream will result but at the end of the day (no pun intended) you can’t control it. Even if we could, would we really want to?

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the more golden than red ticket

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It’s a weird feeling when you go to book a flight somewhere but can’t go through with the final step because the standard everyday, black and silver passport you have used your entire life won’t suffice.

Until my early to mid twenties, I never realised the true beauty of my mother being English. I will forever be grateful for being brought up to speak what my mother calls ‘properly’, without the kiwi twang, for the introduction at a young age to sherbet lemons, hula hoops & walkers crisps and the amazing department store Santa’s grotto’s at Christmas time – but it’s the realisation of the meaning behind my dual nationality that really takes the cake.

Until her final days, my grandmother – who I dare you to find a woman more British than she – called my sister and I “Pom-Iwi’s”. This amalgamation of slang was something we grew up perceiving as weird and something we never really understood or cared about. I now see what her term means and how it personifies the official paperwork that will help form my path over the next few years.

With my passport currently at Her Majesty’s Passport Office in Liverpool awaiting renewal, I can see that it’s pure existence changes things quite drastically for me;

  • I don’t need to apply or nervously wait for acceptance of a two year visa
  • I can walk in to England through the citizens line at customs
  • I can apply for any job I like
  • I’m not bound to the two year restriction with the fear of not being sponsored if I wish to stay on
  • I can flee back to little old NZ if I get homesick, and return to London years down the track without having potentially wasted my precious visa and limited my chance of living the London life

I grew up being told by my father, who is as Kiwi as my grandmother was British, that my not as pretty red passport would one day be my ticket to the world. Now that I am at a place in my life where I am eager to make the move across the globe, I see the little 36 page book that I once viewed as meaningless and associated with brussel sprouts and the cold, as more of a golden than red ticket.

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4 // 18 // 126

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4 months
=
18 weeks
=
126 days

My countdown started at 27 weeks – back when I had hardly told myself, let alone my nearest and dearest – that I had made the decision to move across the world. I am now at the desk which will only be mine for another 3 months, pondering my new life. As I look out the window at the inner city state housing apartment block opposite DDB, which is more resemblant of a crack den than a home, I wonder what council flat developments will be in my new sight lines. The dull sky above flattens my mood, yet is something I am preparing to get used to. As hard as the highly spoken of dullness might be, I’m confident the sheer size, vibe and hype of the city will make up for the infamous bleak skies of London a hundred times over.

I’m slowly telling the most special people in my life of my plan – which is fun – but with spreading the word comes sadness, apprehension and sacrifice. The decision does feel right though and I haven’t once looked back since I found at the app store  downloading a countdown app and entering in my desired departure date.

Telling family in England has been comforting and reassuring – for which I will be ever grateful – and similarly, nothing beats the chat with my amazing two girlfriends who are currently residing in London. After nearly two years, Cinders will soon be reunited with her not ugly stepsisters. Discussing a girls getaway to a European destination feels surreal…the hardest decision being where to venture for the first of our winter expeditions; Budapest, Vienna or wherever Easy-jet may take us.

This is my motive, my dream and a huge factor behind my relocation; travel. Checking my countdown app is now my favourite part of the day.

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